Charlotte Kersten

(Spoilers for Memory and Curses!)

One of the most interesting books I read when I was researching for this series was Unclenching Our Fists: Abusive Men on the Journey to Nonviolence, and it provided me a lot of insight into what the incredibly complex process of trying to no longer be abusive looks like. There were also sections about this in See What You Made Me Do and No Visible Bruises, and these were some of the most challenging and provoking sections of books that were extremely challenging and provoking as a whole. What is different about the tiny number of abusers who manage to realize the impact of their damage and actually make the decision to change? How many of those who make that commitment actually succeed? What internal and external steps do they have to take to remain accountable and grapple with so much unlearning and learning? What could be different and better about batterer interventions programs given their insanely high dropout/recidivism rates?

I keep chewing over these questions and remembering those books because I can’t stop thinking about what happens to Harlan after the ending of Memory and Curses. He’s effectively harmless now, yes, but what happens to him *internally* once Iraluri curses him – and what about when she shares her memories and feelings with him? One of my beta readers mentioned to me that he thought there was a story left to tell with him, and I’m inclined to agree.

I think this would be incredibly difficult to write, though, infinitely more so than Iraluri’s story. So much of her psychology and transformation were inspired by me and the many survivors in my personal and professional life, but I don’t have that ground to stand on with an abuser unlearning his abuse. I also don’t know what kind of reception it might receive – how many people would want to spend an entire book inside the head of someone like him, even if he is changing for the better?

I also worry about potential impacts for readers who might currently be in abusive relationships – I would not want to inspire false hope that their abuser will change when that is so rare in reality. The other side of this potential problem is that I would definitely strive to show what true transformation/accountability looks like; maybe this would be helpful to see for people whose partners continually promise change and reform and only deliver new manipulations and slightly transform the cycle of abuse in reality?

I just don’t know. So, readers, I would love your input. Is this something you would read? What would make it work/not work for you?